They have poor attitudes, back talking about dinner, negotiating everything, even what to have for snack. It’s as if all that stillness incubates an explosion of physicality. ![]() If I demand an immediate cease and desist, things go downhill quickly. People on the couch begin to resemble potatoes. In our house, screen time means total silence, which I love-I get things done! But after an hour, it starts feeling creepy, similar to what I feel on a gorgeous Sunday when I hear the sound of a golf tournament coming from our living room. Take a couple of days to study your own behavior.ĭo you start slamming cabinet doors when your kid has been using a screen for more than a half hour? Do you begin to pace the halls after forty-five minutes? Look for signs of edginess, like mindless snacking. This packed masterclass is one of the 60+ masterclasses you get when you join the AFineParent Academy. Devorah Heitner, author of “Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World” and founder of Raising Digital Natives, talks to us about how to take the fear out of allowing our children to have a relationship with digital media and technology. End of story.ĭoes this make you nervous? Dr. ![]() The love of games did not come from your failure to expose them to sports or to read to them. They like what they like.Īs long it’s not dangerous or illegal, it’s all alright. Minecraft offers yet another opportunity to separate your experience from that of your child. Well, not a lot of us want to play tag for more than ten minutes, either. Those of us who did not grow up with ipads, ipods, and multitudes of devices wonder why anyone would want to spend his down time in a two-dimensional world with no real plot? #1 Accept that gaming is fun for your child, even if it’s not fun for you Start with your attitude: approach video games as one of many options in the vast tool bag containing cool things your kids get to do, rather than the evil monster that will take over your life. I no longer believe that loving Minecraft means you are a lazy and dull person, irrevocably obsessed with video games and destined to suffer from nervous breakdowns or clogged arteries.Īnd most importantly, I don’t feel guilty about my changed beliefs. It doesn’t depress me that my kids like this stuff. I now look at screen time as a fact of life. Click here for our FREE mini-course How to Be a Positive Parent. The following strategies worked.Įditor’s Note: Being able to look beyond the immediate transgressions to focus on the bigger picture is an important aspect of positive parenting. I needed a positive approach to video games, to screen time in general, a term meaning any time spent in front of a screen: games, movies, or movies of other kids playing games. Laptops, ipads, ipods, smart phones, Xbox–this stuff isn’t going anywhere. I had to face facts: the world was against me in this fight. ![]() If anything, the deprivation increased the appetite. It didn’t make the desire for video games go away. I took it hard, the day I finally admitted to myself that what most inspires my nine-year-old son is a video game.Ĭertain we were on the road to laziness, brain atrophy, and obesity, I went through a long spell of helicopter parenting: policing, nagging, and threatening. Who would sooner build worlds in Terraria than accompany you to the neighborhood barbecue? Do you live with a child obsessed with video games?Ī kid who’d rather play Minecraft than ball?
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